empty.

i missed writing. writing to console myself. writing to endorse being a human. nothings much really. what i have earned i spent all. im such a loser, listening, pleasing my desires. it is a strong being in there controlling me. i have no armour. my heart is bare being attacked tremendously. i have my mind to execute a no go. and yet the heart keeps pumping harder and failed too many times.

yeahp.

first up. i had three straight red bulls for today. been not sleeping for 36 hours now. imma so high i can kill a bird. what is up with girls, ladies buying cigarettes in the mornengh 7 11. three in a row queuing for them packs. them unhealthy for bearing kids in their tummy. plus i think we should have lesser reflective walls or signs mannn. big time vainer society.

guess what. the 4 months holidays are in and i need a job.

Peace

insanity.

it is driving me. it is driving me to work harder. i cannot fail you mother.

Peace

here we go boys.

well good luck to me.

Peace

i cry when angels deserve to die.

i could not run any faster. my feet felt numb, but i kept on going to finish another ten rounds. i keep forcing my stride higher so that i can go faster. there is something pulling me back to the ground i feel like quitting.

i cannot do anything. my belief to achieve is far. i am still breathing. i lay motionless on this chair with papers of fake scribblings. my brain is dead.

Peace

on the double.

i find myself lazy to write, everyday. there are a lot of thoughts in me that were supposed to pen down. at least it will give me smiles ten years down the road. i have been balding badly enough, the opacity of my head is getting clearer day by day. EID is being worse than a bitch, i need to complete at least the frame to move along the toilet seat. hey at least im proud doing my project, it teaches me something every single time i think of toilets. today was quite blatant i supposed. the weather is getting more or less like Brunei, having mood swings; thunderstorms out of the blue.

i cranked up my running routine now, trying to clock faster timing for the distance. i hope Ford could help with that. the tenth of April will be IPPT, hoping it could top up my savings and then we, Ford and me could at least have a celebration drink. only that ill be having plain water.

i met my 2IC recently, he was taking part-time masters, was planning to pursue full-time study next year onwards, masters, pHD etc. well, guess he's hanging his green uniform, life in army is shiet. i feel you Captain. i wish him all the best. guess students will never ever have the thought that he was a prestigious Infantry Officer. well Sir, hope you become some professor some day, and build some massive weapons for our defense ay?

i actually kinda miss this space. i miss wearing green though. i dont know why this feeling. cheeeeeep.

Spread the Peace

disease.

this laziness is a disease in me. i am so lacking of motivation. the fire to burn on revision. i am left with 8 weeks to exams, dammit.

Peace