manufactured.

i have to get this load off somehow. exams are halfway through, today was pretty hard to conform. after three blows of examination im finally settling into having the sense of being intimidated by the papers. i feel like im spanked hard on the face for not putting a lot more effort. i am me. i do not take stress seriously, if it comes ill pass it on to my games and military novels.

today was quite bleah. nahhh i didnt wake up early to meet buddies for last second revision. yet i was greeted by students, excited over their last paper as i exited my bus towards the exam hall. fuck you, a little bit of consideration would help my morale in surviving the next two and a half hours in the freezing cold examination hall. oh great i am in the first row. i was thinking of cheating hoping that my notes would be invisible, tough luck, there was this camera 45 degrees staring at me blankly. i was wondering who would be watching me struggling my nerves out behind those lenses. to make it worst, invigilators are directly infront of me, grinning. seems students keep walking in and out to the toilet, i assume they are looking for answers ay? anyway. anyway. the best of all is me darting blankly at this particular question, while Sherwood(the lecturer for the module) is on my 12 looking down on me.

looking down on me. oh yes i was down, but lets hope for the best. three more papers to go.

Peace

i want to buy GTR.

credits to fahn togel. the lecturer that took care of me for 3 years is now a millionaire. he was sort of the care person to a small class of students which included me throughout my time in polytechnic. coincidentally, he was my supervisor for my final year project. which is cool shiznit. well, i could guess from the image above, his road to millionaire was part of my group effort in developing his idea of bone scaffolding. we fabricated a plate and an extruder to protrude out filaments that will make the product. we scored well for it. guess our group sleepless night paid off and did him proud. look at how wide his smile is.

go here to find out more about the product we used to work on.

Peace

get some.

i cannot study whole day dawg. it just that when i come to a certain question that is pretty hard, ill stone. stone includes long hours of sleep. i have less than 25 days till exams. dude, im not too prep up for D-Day. hols shiznits the blood flow constricts every time my mind think of it. how do them graduates survive this mental tenure. i do not mean to exaggerate but its putting a bullet through the brains, splattering juices. God help me. i know its a bit tight, but i need my heart and mind to focus now. i do not wish to repeat Brunei man.

oh my i miss the whole fcuking platoon 2. them PAC warriors yo.

Peace

french fries again.

how do you start the passion of studying when the mood and motivation isnt there. when the modules are pretty rough and tough. and competitions are stiff. for me, ill tag along playing this game of surviving through. risking my every minute for exams that is coming soon. real soon. deadly. my hair is all standing while i am all smiles. everything is going to be ok, as donald duck would put it. thermodynamics is being a bitch now. our brains are made of neurons and not all humans have the same efficiency of absorbing heavy information fast, letting alone the neurons to process it. its fcuken tough. 10 klicks see chics tomorrow morning. nike human race. ciao.

Peace

snicker bars.

i had 3 bars of snickers of school today. it was the only prominent food that grabbed me when i strolled in the schools convenient 7 11. 1 for breakfast 2 for lunch. imma sweet mouthed now care for a kiss?

i got intrigued by the professor for helping my friend to answer a dang question by him. he looked at me straight in the eyes without even blinking, all i could do was to slide down my chair and hid under the table. nothing much lately, this week was elearning but school is still alive. lectures especially, my life span is limited to 75 mins for the 2 hour of blabberings. my mind will just snooze after that.

i plan to swim today and i did 8 laps, panting. this is pretty bad i must say, should do a weekly affair. washed up and headed off to my marketing lesson at night.

stretch. campus run tomorrow. time to hit the chicks. oops.

Peace

so we do nothing. but be prepared for anything?

i bought two books recently, the first is one bullet away by captain Nathaniel Fick former elite recon marine. a really inspiring book of the adventures in becoming a marine. he writes valiantly, influential to every reader who yearns to be a leader under pressure. i got hooked on aspiring to becoming a marine. the words were written descriptive towards army lingo made me all excited reminiscing the times i had going through infantry officer cadet course. now i am being pressurized by my peers to sign on the army and tell tales to grandchildren. day by day i will hear the passing quotes of 'sign on sudah'. very tempted. weaponrys, shouting commands on the field. uniforms make me look hot. higher CDI factor. "Chicks Dig It".

ah fcuk that. its the old time saying of 'being said is easier than done'. go thru what i have i gone thru. i control my life not you. being in peace is in the melayu blood. although i love being green, signing on wont even be my last resort. but when the button is pressed, i will be there when the nation needs me to fend off enemies taking harm on my family and raping beauties of singapura.

oh yep the second book is a word by word translation of the Quran. loving it.

Peace

desiresssssssssss.

they opened up a new game shop in northpoint. oh noes operation flashpoint is just few bucks away. and need for speed: shift too. my xbox has been crying out for me to caress her controls. mmmmmm.

i cant play. i cannot play. study. study. study.

i want the dslr too.

Peace

castrate myself.

procrastinating is a fcuking bad habit. i cannot mind my language anymore. i am not sure whether this habit is permanently in the genes or i am just being plain stubborn and lazy. the mind is focused on study, but the heart is telling me to wait. i have a whole lot of tutorials that i am lagging as well as 2, maybe 3 quizzes(i forgot) on friday. i am panicking. @$%&#@!

help.

can someone spank me. and i need to do detention in school.

Peace

backkk again.

wow it has been two weeks. at least. i feel my days are squeezed into hours. i felt numb on the festive season as the modules are running thru my blood. i sleep less and i found myself drooling during lunch break, drooling literally with colourless saliva that flows steadily at the brink of my mouth wetting my sheet of tutorials.

how gross can i be. the past two days were nerve wrecking. it feels like digging trenches again. only that the mind is working tremendously. i am glad, i am accompanied with great friends that decided wisely to take the challenge of wearing a hat and a gown at the end isof the three years. it is a choice that they all made. it is a choice that i made. dont look back now.

life can be harsh. i just want it to be smooth.

Peace

gasp.

im on survival mode for now.

Peace

pssshhhh.

i need a wall.

Peace

my greatest enemy.

sleep has its pros and cons. sleep recharges the brain makes you feel refresh. on the downside however, it has this side effect of having the lazy syndrome. waking up from a good sleep increases the inertia. i will not explain the detailed formulas here, it will only create confusion. well, in simple terms, waking up makes you want to delay the time of your intended to-do things you have in mind. especially when the weather is so good and cosy, you decide to procastinate and telling your mind, lets have another 5 minutes.

the eyes opened and oh noes! the usual antics of im late and *insert cursing word here* kicks in. that is when you realised, time had fast forward without the rewind button and you missed golden hours. the cycle repeats, till you decide when to stop the habit.

discipline please saleem. hoo ah!

Peace

dear God.

mannn im into the third week now. it is only the third week and the brain is erupting volcanoes like never before. it feels like ocs again, only mentally. the neurons are having major traffic jam. i need to build expressways and effective dividers so that it will run smoothly again. i might be calm but i am panting inside. regulating the bloodstream every heartbeat makes me grit. 1095 days to glory. i shall pull this off smoothly. i must. my hairs are dropping. i shall remind myself of brunei and not let vanquished battles cripple me because the war is not over till i have my victory flag planted on the steep mountain.

ahhh.

maintaining my smile everyday.

Peace

b(*t) = ch

the mind is trying to regain the memories of calculating again. remembering mathematics after national service can be a b*tch. plus all the modules need complicated equations to be dealt with. cheesebun. why cant maths be like english, write countless essay, better if it is open ended and i can just load a junk of craps and still got marks. and if maths is mathematics, one fine careless mistake, and i am gone, gone just like that. a big zero on the forehead.

practise, practise, practise.

but i lazy la. i need to get a whip.

Peace

dadada.

imy.

Peace

wow.

school starts with a bang in the head. bang bang bang.

Peace

first.

tomorrow marks my first day of school. i feel like a 5 year old kindergarten kid again. only that i wont pee in class. and i wont cry missing mom. it is the anxiety running all over me. the subjects are making me gagged. the only thing that motivates me now is this:

watch in HD guys. =D. wish me luck!

Peace

ribena.

the mentality of schooling is different once i stepped out the army. my mind now is wanting money, money and more money. it is not that i am greedy. i feel a sense of responsibility somehow(finally). responsibility of being a man. to repay my parents for all the hardships they had bringing me up to be somebody at least. i do feel sucky when asking them money for books. it is not that i want to; feel me dude. just feel me and you will understand. the uniform collected mud moulded me into someone. polytechnic days felt ecstatic with sleeping in lectures and fun in tutorials. care-free. jam and hop. business chickies. wow those were the hippy days man.

university is a whole different realm now. i just had the oath, and it seems they take studying very seriously. the buildings are dull. the classes are much bigger now. friends? i need to learn chinese and do some networking.

well good luck to me. i am already lost in mathematics.

Peace

school.

the sound of school is making me squirm. i am somehow unprepared for it. my bag is torn. i do not have a proper pencil case. and most importantly i find that my mathematics is really rusting up there. other than what is 1 + 1 = 2, i cannot really derive why 1 + 1 = 2. i think i am going for a kamikaze mission or a mentally challenging ranger course. well, to top it off i have received my timetable. i am sweating even before school starts. my goodness. i do really hope i'll move inch by inch, making full use of all my brain cells and be my best throughout my next 3 years of school. i will try to be happy. i will balance time. it is as easy to write and say than being done. the easiest thing to do now is smile throughout my lectures and tutorials. most importantly, smile throughout my examinations, i think somehow it will encourage my study.

plan. execute. contingency. this is my assembly area and im walking courageously towards the form-up point. wish me luck.

Peace

Up up and away.

Interestingly, Carl retires with innovation. Rather than having sucked in by the old folks home, his unstoppable creative mind decides to make the house fly up, blew by thousands of colourful balloons. An adventure not to be missed, Russels, the innocent fat looking boy decides to jump in with a cute request to enter the now up in the sky house. The unimaginable duo travelling thru the atmosphere seeking unknown adventures makes the storyline an exciting trip to the movie theatre. UP in Singapore Cinemas opening 7th August 2009.

Peace

400 bucks.

i do not know why i could not have sound when playing youtube videos. this irritates me. it makes me feel dumb trying to read the lips and watch crazy people dance without music. eeks.

so ok im on a serious deal here. ippt. in simpler terms, the annual fitness test for national service goatees like me. the highest prize? well, instant sweat for 400 bucks. yes i know it is quite a small amount of money. however, im telling everyone that the 400 will grow. i will plant it in a fertile soil add some good nourishments of fertilisers and you will see euro pounds growing on the branches. i will set up security cameras or maybe electric fence before planting it. aim for gold. i am training. when the 400 bucks is in my hand, it is time to get married.

seems long that i have updated this blog. it was almost 2 weeks ago that i updated it but time moves fast i did not realised it. and the eclipse was scary yo. that was just 6 mins of darkness in one part of the world, and we see people go, "woahhh". what if we humans one day do not enjoy anymore light when darkness bestow us forever. be grateful to the One whom created us for everything. wake up.

anything to clarify? no? good.

Peace

nothing much.

my life has not been much interesting since i left army. no action. no bang bangs. no communications(talk-cock session). most importantly, no money rolling. well, i really wish someone out there would read my blog and sympathize me. symphathize me so much that he/she will donate me $20 every month. i am not asking much, just to support myself in school. please please. singapore is the 10th expensive city in the world. by now you can imagine how my situation is. it is really bad. i beg you please donate.

hahha. this is the modern day beggar.

anyway, i bought two new games out of boredom on xbox live(the irony!). worms armageddon and battlefield 1943. worms as you would know is a classic. i remembered the first version was in diskette format! wow. ok i just realised diskette is an ancient item. why i bought this two games because it requires stratergy and not just play to fill time. i like my mind to work when playing. mostly applying physics to it. i love owning opponents while keeping it low making them realise this basickq - my xbox live gamer tag, dude is pro ish. i interact, sometimes observe gamers character and attitude, somehow i will know the trend and beat the hell out of them. so anyone who would wish to dog fight with me on a japanese zero fighter do add me on xbox live and we will meet on wake island for a mano-a-mano. i love doing acrobats.

ok gaming aside, updates on other stuffs. do not be suprised if you see products being reviewed here. i am trying to dive in and explore themarketing and working hard to earn a living so watch the space.

regarding donors who would wish to donate me, please do not change your mind after reading this post. hee. thanks.

Peace

motivation.

motivating others can be an easy deal . motivating oneself takes much effort because one, we are standing on our own feet. two, challenges will always need motivation. and finally, most of the time it is something that we do not like to take part in, but we did it anyway because we want to achieve our own goals and be successful in it. and for my case, i need the drive to do maths again. as i got back to my books, my answers to the questions are normally doodles.

motivation. take for example my routine running. i run because i want to earn 400 dollars every year from the government. and to achieve that i have to be consistent in clocking my 15km every week. i am a lazy ass sometimes and i rather shoot down enemies with my xbox. but what drives me to run is the money. i need money to get married. hehhe. i am motivating myself with that. and once the legs start to run i must not stop because,"i am an officer of the singapore armed forces, my duty is to lead, to excel and to overcome i lead my men by example i answer for their training morale and discipline, i must excel in everything i do, i serve with pride honour and intergrity, i will overcome adversity with courage, fortitude and determination, i dedicate my life to singapore". believe me or not this creed kept me running. i cannot lose. i have to clock my timing. i run faster. sometimes im scaring myself by pushing it to the limits. and it all came from my own self motivation. i felt good.

you guys should try it sometimes. think of something that you really want to achieve and manipulate it to your motivation needs. for myself, i am still discovering how am i going to fully concentrate on my calculus.

Peace

ill be there.

just call my name and ill be there.

Peace

the lift.

no i am not going to tell you complicated ghost experiences in the lift. and i find that mistik show on suria is confusing. can do better.

recently the good people of PAP(pay and pay) has installed new lifts to older housing estates. meaning the residents are aging. so it was really a good initiative to have the lift serving on every floor. i am on the lower levels but once in a while it wont hurt taking the ride. guess the lift really benefit us. not only it eases the senior citizens, it increases the interaction between neighbours, socially. i just realised theres a cute chic living upstairs. mmm. and i dont really recognise most of the people here in this apartment. my goodness 22 years living here.

i should take the lift much more often now. ok dont get me wrong i am not going to go for the chic.

Peace

attention.

i need money. please donate to me. please.

Peace

syndrome.

every now and then i will creep silently and peep around corners. it is becoming a habit. it is already. its a drill commonly used in military operation training to save your ass. dont rush. shoot kill move. i personally experience it over and over and over and over again. and it is permanently installed in the brain, making it a syndrome that has it side effects of me looking so awkwardly peeping around in the public. what do i learn from this? what can you learn? to be good in something, keep doing it till it becomes a habit and get infected by the syndrome. you will be able to do it with your eyes closed. mmm.

and this disease i got infected with i name it, 'you-go-i-cover-you' syndrome. soldiers will understand. to those who could not acknowledge this and wish to know more. click here and sign on.

Peace

look ma im changing.

i have changed my template after browsing thru the world very wide web. i came across this one which i really liked. credits to lawnydesigns.com. i am so going to learn templates so as to have my own and to share with the world my creativity.

and because of all the changes and modifications, i have lost all my links. thanks to me who fiddled the codes. so if you have been reading this humble blog of mine. leave your links in the comment and soon it will appear again.

Peace

suddenly the population pops out to additional 1400. no its not the birth season nor any sex fest 9 months ago. its the welcoming crowd of creme de la creme athletes from all around asia competing in sports events to be the lion king of the tropical continent.

i just thought that this is the best time for singapore to recruit foreign talents, to prepare for olympics perhaps. influence them to our accomodities our ease of education. our medical benefits. oh yes, let the propaganda begins. pick up the best, throw the rest. put singapore on the map. let it be known till the streets of sao paolo. we need people to survive.

politics is a dirty game. my head is throbbing now. and i have no idea why. maybe looking at this photos will help. mmm. no i miss her. a lot.

Peace

in the increasing world of technology, i feel that for the government to connect to the people they should immerse themselves into the internet reaching out to the needs of the citizens. yes, there are plenty of online services that ease the people's demands. but having a some sort of relationship with the ones they govern makes a huge impact on the trust. and that trust will help the government to run the state or country for a long time running. but how?

facebook. PM Lee should have a facebook. then we can start poking him and tell him what problems we are facing then perhaps he can make life a little better by not putting too much erp gantries. or maybe president Nathan should have a youtube account addressing local issues so that we will all be warm in the heart having our leader to look into our eyes and asking what is bothering our minds. like what president Obama is doing here.

i think i should be an mp.

Peace

you got to live your life. my point is, the lady quite pretty eh. oops.

Peace

wahhh prata price increase. i am so broke. how am i supposed to survive uni without money man. this is not possible. nothing is impossible. but death isn't.

michael jackson. i remembered playing his game on sega console where you used those tapes on it. and michael will be this character throwing hats on bandits to beat it. i bet you guys played some. and it is still in the memory. almost every blogger is reminiscing his prime days. the good old stage of mimicking his infamous moonwalk which till now nobody can perfect how he slick with his shiny boots. he really impacted the universe with the moves and vocals to die for and gave birth to music talents that made hits. michael jackson, the king of pop was a virus. a virus that no vaccine can cure every human ear. black or white, somehow, will remember him of his contribution to the evolution of music industry. every human dies. but a legend never. bless.

Peace

bad. to have a war sparking off now is really bad. i am just having random thoughts that i could not sleep. economic crisis, H1N1, people fighting. what a world. and i am growing bald. how do you grow bald when the hair is losing.

lets hope for a better tomorrow.

Peace

i spent most of the time sleeping. find myself quite restless these days. i need regime exercises. ok langkawi was moderately great. like all other parts of malaysia, its filled with tropical trees. but i find the legendary stories quite fascinating. like this beautiful lady, mahsuri. should go wikipedia and read about it. everything else is fine, the cable car is awesomely adrenaline tingling. i dont know why, maybe its the altitude. anyone heading to langkawi must head down for the cable car up to mat cincang mountain. extremely orgasmic view of the top. of course, laksa is them food. and i did not get to enjoy much of the beaches. enjoy the flicks, which included a vlog in the end:

Peace

ill update soon.

Peace

although i might not realise it. H1N1 is more serious than the SARS incident. when i thought Singapore had only 4 cases it rose to 103 in less than a month. okay this is very serious. wash your hands guys. and ban pole dancing. ill be your pole. because i wash hands on a frequent basis. just do not take it lightly. when it seems everything is going on fine, you will get the panic attack. so be vigilant, sneeze on your shirt and do not exaggerate the cough, the virus might go further. take up this simple measures and life will be fine. but do not be too paranoid. if not zombies will come and kill us all.

money is circulating. we give, we get back, we give, we get back. its a circle. i guess thats how they came up with coins.

Peace

it really brings memories when you clean up your own mess. some of the things have been really lying down there for ages until i started sorting out my shit loads of documents. haha oh ya ive been trying to be more organise. so that in a blink of an eye i know where i put it. and i hate wasting time to search:

check out the new xbox and remote control pouch. each set sold separately. heh army really have quality goods.

the table for now.

im fcuking ready yo. to prey and to spray.

told you im ready mofoin b*tches.

and the one from deutschland.

Peace

why is it out of the blue singapore delegates decides to tour around malaya. and why MM LKY is tagging along. other than improving friendship ties. hmm. very intriguing.

hmm. hmmmmmm. hmm. mmmmmm. hmmmmmm.

Peace

i opened up a new blog. more details soon.

Peace

i believe that being professional in everything you do makes oneself feel happier. anything and everything, you name it be it cooking, sleeping, bathing, shaving, games, pet society, farm town, restaurant city, reading emails. really. you know how i sweat it out on my xbox controller making every careful move that ill make sure i top the round. its a very blissful feeling inside and it makes you be a better person. there will be a tendency that the behaviour towards stuffs you practically do improves and it becomes a profession. you excel in it. and you feel happy. isnt that great. so be professional. be somebody. join the army.

and yep i got commented whilst playing bad company on me xbox live. hee:


oh how i wish i really fly that aircraft.

Peace

ok readers, i got good stuffs to share with you guys. good stuffs must share, cannot be selfish. i did countless research and find out this is really good. i know of earning-from-home schemes that comes from the internet are bullshit. but getting paid 10 cents to 50 cents for reading one email is not that bad. and i read 7 advertising emails that came from emailcashpro.com and they really credited bucks into my account. wowowowow. way before, i pre judge this site as a scam but it actually started off from singapore. and singapore cannot play play. so it was the real deal. it came out in the local papers few years back. shiet i should have known it earlier. and its really free to join. and once you sign up theyll provide you with advertising emails. so your job is: open up the email for 30 seconds and kaching. it depends on how many cents you get. so if one month you have 100 emails, with each email paying 50 cents. 50 extra bucks for the month. try to believe it. oh and yes click here to join.

but before that read this and this. my research =)

Peace.

as of today the type A H1N1, also famously known as the babi flu has reached the maximum pandemic alert level. when it seems that everything is settling, the world health organisation alerts the galaxy that this virus is everywhere. 141 deaths for now. well, the good thing about the virus is that people realised the importance of cleanliness, which reminds me that i need to clean my room which looks like brunei jungle now. another good thing about the coming of the virus. it makes me stay home and staying safe. meaning, i save bucks on this holiday season whilst waiting for school. but damn. my bills are expensive. i need donations. you know what i am going to put up a donation gadget on my blog. if you readers find my rants informative somehow, please donate with much sincerity ok.

for now i need to make me blog more interesting so that i have more stalkers to donate. mmm lets see.

Peace

you know how i melayu blogs in english. it is the most convenient language for me to flow thoughts. i cannot use the bahasa to rant. it reads awkward. i feel shameful though. not practising the roots im from. a fear that the malay language will extinct one day. todays generation are too west. but i do admire that the race preserves its culture though we speak england we still wear traditional costumes during hari raya.

anyway my point is. i have my own origin but in some ways in some places using my own language doesnt suit, i.e. scolding a platoon of recruits. you do a mix tape of hokkiens and tamil. check it. the mouth raps smooth like river. it makes scolding more pleasant. to the soul and mind.

and there you go language appreciation. and the most beautiful language to me is arabic. and the favourtie phrase:

uhibbu.

Peace

animals do not feel regret. have you ever see a lion shaking his head in anguish after gobbling down a whole meal of deer. nah i dont think so perhaps regret that they have a stomach ache after. just roaring around the plains as the food digest. but what about the deer family. they should be regretful. the rest of the gang could have scare the lone predator with their numbers. well. technically, we cant have much deers, so the lion is working hard to balance out the ecosystem. on second thought, as discovery channel would screen the mother turtle laying eggs. the eyes would tear in grief.

random.

Peace

Toy Story 3. =D

Peace

i just realised when im outta army, its very hard to run. my legs feel heavy. and i need a lot of motivation to complete a simple 5 km run.

i just want to get 400 dollars from the government da.

Peace

megan fox is a man. fcuk noooooooooooooooooo. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Peace

mmm was going thru some of my documents:

OCC Reflection

I remembered my first few weeks as a cadet in Alpha wing. Every night, the fear of having turnouts will always come across the mind and when it did happened, the thought of quitting got me gritting my teeth. The infamous leopard crawl will always be the main soup of the turnout, topping up with fast marches and casualty evacuation. Thinking of it back, it really builds the mental strength in me; dare to overcome.

The experiences gained during my term in OCS are worthwhile. From handling different types of weapons to navigating on different terrains, I personally experience the feel of being a real soldier and in addition, we were trained on scenario based missions with us having different appointments such as Platoon Commander, Platoon Sergeant Etc. so to have us trained as leaders that could lead the fight. Besides outfield exercises, appointments were also being practiced during admin. This helps us to better understand the structure and hierarchy of an army organization as well as the chain of command. I deemed OCS have structured the learning syllabus to train and nurture as us leaders to be so that we can adapt to any situation when leading people comes into play. That I believe make us different from a normal soldier, to be in command and lead.

Excellence were always practiced everywhere in OCS, especially during written tests. I recalled retaking my final tactics test because it was not up to standard. I knew I could have passed but leaving out minor details lead me to failure. From then onwards, I be more particular in everything I do so that I excel in the final outcome.

There are moments in OCS that I will never forget. During JCC, which was part of Exercise Lancer package in Brunei, I lost important controlled equipment which leads me to failure of the course and not qualify for the badge. It really had a great impact on me with regards to the loss of the item and how it relates to real situation. I knew I was in deep trouble at that moment and my focus was lost. After the whole exercise ended, most instructors consoled me and I would not forget what LTA Davmes told me, “Losing a man in a battle, must not stop you from continuing the war”. A statement full of meaning I will not forget.

One of the defining moments of my cadet life was winning the platoon assault course. The strong belief of winning that the platoon had and the solid team dynamics overwhelmed the other 8 platoons we were competing with. I realised that differences does not play along in winning as a team. A similar goal of winning inspired the team and me to end the assault course the fastest.

In short, 9 months of strenuous and grueling training in OCC builds the character in me. The good and the bad that were faced throughout the 38 weeks shaped me to become a better officer, a better leader for the army and also the society.


OCT Saleem Abdul Rahim
Alpha Wing / Platoon 2

Peace

yep play it while reading. im humming to it while im typing, while im driving my nissan gtr spec v by the countryside with that special someone inside. i really want that car ok. yes i sound happy. i bet you know the reason by now. my pretty pink golden ic is back in my warm hands. it was way back in 2007 when i last saw it. didnt had the chance to kiss it goodbye. and here it is again back to its rightful owner. i just miss my buddies back in ocs. i heard stories of tortures, back stabbers in the school but 69/07 alpha platoon 2 was a family. brunei and rcp was helluva shit. but yep i pulled through. given a chance ill do brunei again. i got my personal reasons. yep, and i want to do airborne when im in reservists. i want. i want to touch the sky. so yea, 120509.


ord oh. and i know the song is gay. but im dedicating to that special someone.

Peace

it hurts only just once, theyre only broken bones, hide the hate inside. show me what its like, to dream in black and white. so i can leave this world tonight.

ORD.

Peace

swine. i remembered this word pretty well when i first entered ocs. we were once labelled, 'bloody swine and maggots'. the term, the phrase which describes us fully. dirty with mud. stinky from sweat. dirt that stuck on the body for days. well i cannot blame the sergeant major for shrieking out that loud. we lived thru the condition except for the fact it didnt stay forever. 9 months. 9 hard months was suffice to suck it up the painful moments which left as war stories for grandchildren.

now we realised. we realised how bad does a real swine created a complex virus that affect human lives. the fact that it is already unhygienic, the condition it lives in. relating the experiences, we learnt that keeping clean is not something to be taken lightly. most of us will wait for something to happen and then action will be taken. im grateful that i am a muslim, because the prophet who lived 1400 years ago had thought the islamic generation the ways to live life and cleanliness was a priority and regular practice of each muslim. im here just to remind wonderful people reading my blog to practice good hygiene and it doesnt stop when the flu settles. it goes on all the way.

another thing. i had to agree with LKY with his phrase, 'god is punishing us'. its time to breathe slow, reflect and contemplate. we do not live forever. we are creating our own destruction. we are liars. lets pray before we sleep that the One who have given us life forgive us all and it will be never too late as long as our heart beats. doing a comparison. the history, the people had all lost their lives in gunfights and artillery shells. wars had taken many lives during the past. whats is the difference? today we are all fighting the invisible world war.

ill pray that our sins are forgiven. ill pray that the worlds well being is taken care of. ill pray that tomorrow will be a better day.

God hear us.

Peace

i just love to adore the sight of apaches flying low. mmm.

Peace

i am seriously going to buy myself a digital slr. i cannot tahan anymore adoring nice pictures taken by people. i want my own babies. i will watch ebay everyday till someone decides to sell it at one dollar. i just fought the 50 over bids over the polaroid. i can do for the slr.

i am seriously going to save. join the army. we want you.

Peace

enough said, i want to be the next batman. so catwoman can ride along with me.

Peace

Peace

sheit. i bought a polaroid.

Peace

i was lying down on my comfortable bed in the bunk enjoying the fan breeze. i was staring blankly on the ceiling. my head pressed firm on the pillow. it was late evening. i have checked and recheck again on my whats-to-dos. seems that is all for today. and oh my its already a year and 9 months, days i went thru jungles. days that were mind torture. days that were harsh. days that i wanted my sleep the most. days the face was dirty with mud. days my camouflage uniform have always been my close friend. it is all ending soon. i have finally found the light at the end of the tunnel. hands wiped the face. gusts of relieve blows the windpipe. i will miss my personal 84, table soccer, ocs, cadence run, jungle laterine.

duty, honour, country. the three words every civillian, women will never know unless they wore green. furthermore, the most valuable take away from the army is that the green people i have known will be the most reliable to fight next with.

sign on la. and my favourite reply will be b***.

ORD OH.

not official yet. it will be bigger.

Peace

"...complexity, autonomy, and a relationship between effort and reward in doing creative work, and thats worth more to most of us than money."

"...tolerate ambiguity."

"Success is a function of persistence and doggedness and the willingness to work hard for twenty-two minutes to make sense of something that most people would give up on after thirty seconds."

im taking down notes. good words from author, malcom gladwell. ord mode: read books. do maths. play xbox. love her more.

Peace

shieyyyt i keep watching the wonder girls video. yes im referring to my previous post. so mouth watering. sheeps. i must stop.

i think that the yellow line should be extended further back like 10 metres away. so to allow commuters exiting the train have time to breathe from the rushing in passengers. the scenario will be such when the train comes and stops the one entering the train would race from behind the yellow line to the doors while the one going out will have time to punch thru. you see i have benefited singaporeans in keeping them healthy. they are forced to run to the doors if they do not want to miss their train. to make things more interesting, maybe implement an electric field on the platform beyond the yellow line. anyone goes beyond that will be shocked to the brains. and this field will only deactivate when the train fully stops. i say again, fully.

im bullcrapping. and i hate rush hours. dammit. im looping wonder girls.

Peace

i think i should do this sometime. the wonder girls cute eh. tak boleh tahan.

i want nobody, nobody but you.

Peace

when i play games. i play shooting games. and i find that its rather easy to lob grenades to my preferred target at some distance. seeing my opponents fly up in the sky as they wait for their turn to prey on me.

and today i cant even reach the 40 metre target when i threw the dummy grenade. it pathetically landed 20 metres away. i can have my balls gone if it was real. and how the bananas did they do it in blackhawk down where they lobbed the frag into the window a few storey high. must be cut-scenes. must be. or if not i should start zeroing my grenade throwing.

soon i will be up a hill.

Peace

oh man i feel disturbed by this. how can she. its time girls serve national service.

biatch.

Peace

im becoming super lazy. to wake up in the morning takes an ultimate effort from me and i will be late for work. two times in a row. and burning bucks when i wave the taxi. im lucky the uncle wasnt grumpy today because i didnt had enough cash. im in need to save man. i need to be discipline. i need to go thru ocs again so that they could shape me back to waking up at 5 in the morning and run like nobodys business. and walk in the jungle to detox. what a life. i should sign on ay.

but nope. even if they offered me to be posted for the ace of spades, the adf, which i really wanted to fight with, i will never sign on. i know it will change my character somehow. i miss my old me you know. and im two months away to become pink again. take cover. over there.

i think i should go for the career fair and try to look for a job that can last me for 3 months.

Peace

i finished this book titled the forgotten soldier, an unpopular true story book of a german driver transformed elite soldier thru the campaign of german invasion and loss to the world. a really different account of a soldier forced into battle, finally found himself alive distorted with countless near deaths experience. imagine going without food for weeks in temperatures 10 below zero degrees. well, lets just see if it turns into a movie.

for now i want to juggle like edward van gils. and. just a lil bit. too phat please come out with a new album, soon.

Peace

Peace

beat the general today. one day off. =)

Peace

lightning is fatal. it hits once on random and with massive impact. humans would fall, our merlion didnt and still pours its wealthy water onto the precious singapore river. a bald merlion. a sign perhaps. who would guess. hope its for the better. singapore to recharge itself. once bitten, twice shy ill build an umbrella for you merlion. lets get up people.

Peace

im balding. i think too much. i think so much that i ever wonder to improve the capacity of MRT trains so that it wont be squeezy every morning. and to hope that the green uniforms have some protection layer against lethal mosquitoe bites. i cant stop this mind. it will always keep spinning.

one of the superiors passed away last week. left a young kid and a wife. it just reminds me that life is so vulnerable, perhaps an hour, today, two weeks later. you will never know the time when everything are useless. time drifts and people forget you. its just you now 7 foot deep realising the heart stopped beating. and the soul becomes lonely. and to remind myself, for im still breathing Gods invention get the loved ones insured and not to leave them suffering without you. and to prepare proper for the afterlife. im two cents worth.

miss you and love you.

Peace

oh yes i went to safari zoo run. alone and throughout the run the only animals i saw were the giraffes and gazelles. so yep. completed in half an hour. and got myself changed. and went back straight after that. nothing else. i only shook hand with this runner i was competing with. its a fun run but a little competition make it nice. the angmoh chics are quite a serene scene. mmm. oops.

ok. im supposed to revise again. ive lost mood to write.

id do anything for a smile.

seize the day or die regretting the time you lost it's empty and cold without you here.

Peace

shiet i just vented out my frustration, my anger. im falling into the dark side.

imissyoualot+++

Peace

my throat feels itchy now. the lozenges is not helping. im getting warmer and warmer. i feel uneasy. im in camp. i think i rest early tonight.

Peace

i sleep thru the cold morning wishing you could hug me.

Peace

the only ones who took the train this morning must be the ones who either are working in jurong island, or are nurses or simply the ones who have to be reported for duty.

it starting to be irritatingly quiet on the expressway. happy lunar new year to all chinese. may good fortune comes to your pocket.

Peace

you are a part of my heart.

Peace

being too good is hard sometimes. stricken by own rules, afraid to lose the reputation. the line could not be cut or even jagged with influence. it must be straight. the mind has set it straight, and the brain is at stake. finally it dies along with the neurons. the eyes just stare deeply thru the ceiling. all the others are evil. hate them. hate them because i am the only good one. i must be crazy in thoughts.

and why is everyone playing left4dead. whats up with zombies mannn.

Peace

macham macham ah.

Peace

like finally im getting me new spectacles after a long time i lost my old one somewhere in the woods because of my carelessness and my laziness to crawl and find it in the thick vegetation of the darkness that bestows me. so yep i let go of my old supercool glasses that cost mere 50 bucks. and im getting the new one at 130 dollars more. im rich before that. and i need to save. can i have a nikon camera next. mmm.

ok starting february ill save diligently with angel ring over the head. hopefully i reach(rich) my goal. then can plan for the future ahead proper. work starts soon.

money + power = massive ego. money x power = massive ego of destruction. working out the maths. its been a while since i ran. and swim. and i miss you. can?

this guy is good. wow.

Peace

the moon was really bright and it was really cold. the wind as though could make out its own song. a very soothing sound molecules brushing with the leaves. suprisingly there were less mosquito bites than i ever expected. my stomach was always stuffed. and it gets dusty when im rolling on the tracks. but the night was calm. very calm. the moon moves south as i draw my blankets and my eyelids drifts to sleep. and the only thing i remembered was mom and you.

ive missed you.

Peace

i need a little solitude. just stare into the blank sky. reminiscence life for a bit. i have been too much. just me, my socks, the mosquitoes, and the jungle. see you guys back on thursday.

when you have to risk everything you die for, saints and soldiers, maybe i teared for a bit:

"ill watch your back".

Peace

wear your helmets and 3D glasses. its coming! its comeennggghhh! run for your life.

Peace

i just signed up for courses to prep myself. refresh everything again. im like a total lost dude when i open up my engine books. a bit a bit only la but i need to get my senses back on studying. i have been toying my xbox controller im afraid i get drifted and find myself tumbling down. a man gots to do what a man gots to do. ceh im a man already. so yep. im studying again. suffer 3 more years. then collect money. then can marry. heh. heh. perhaps im too young to worry. but yep all the best to me and the rest whos further studying again. and then lets fly.

if i had the chance to. i will.

Peace

golds. playing bad companys the way mannn. anyway hows me. im doing great. i havent cut my fingernails yet. xbox live is awesome. i ran today. played soccer for a bit. and now im planning of what stuffs to bring next week for a my first jungle days out this year. maybe ill bring some solid fuels, mess tin, eggs, bread, maggi, ham, my blanket, my sandals, safari bed, lots and lots of water.
lets look forward to camping! i love camping!. hmm ok. ill blog next time. ive a got a duty to do.

to love you.

Peace

5 months till i leave my full time national service. been thru this and that and some fierce training. creatures from different angles. the dark night. the lonely cold dark night. the camouflage paint. the 3 weeks of pain. acquaintances becoming good buddies. weapons and weapons and more weapons. sometimes i ask myself why am i wearing green for.

Peace

ok i got some good news and bad news for the new year, so lets start with the goodies. number one all army dudes in green gets a pay rise. secondly, cookhouse is serving mee soto. my moms birthday is this month. i bought a new game on my brand new 360! woohoo.

and the baddie is that pay rise is by 20 bucks and it only helps us to pay the monthly insurance that all army personnel are definitely getting. and another bad news is tong seng restaurant is under renovation. boring.

my new game. very strong content not for the young.

Peace